a quiet life

losing myself to find myself deeper

attached. 

i have become subconsciously attached to the woman that i have become throughout the years. 

maybe it’s because i know her inside and out. i know her wants and her dreams. her deepest hopes and desires. the life she craves and the goals that she has and the visions that have been circling her mind for years and years now.

she’s familiar to me. 

she’s a nomad at heart. with the desire to move around as she pleases. whenever and wherever her heart next calls her. she’s a free spirit. LA has been her dream since she was young. and even more so when she entered the realms of health and wellness as a young 20 something year old. she yearns to be surrounded by all of the cute wellness studios and coffee shops and cafes and juice bars. she dreams of building an empire that requires hard work and dedication and “girl boss energy” every day and she knows the exact steps she will take to get there. she wants adventure. she wants a home with white walls and marble countertops and everything to be perfectly neutral. although she will only use this home as a safe space to land in between her endless travels. and it WILL be on the beach. she wants to shop at all of her favorite trendy clothing brands. she cares about getting 10,000 steps a day and never eats a drop of cane sugar or any other suspicious ingredient. she loves to get on her yoga mat and do some intuitive movement because it connects her to herself deeper than ever before. she has the same breakfast every morning with the same black coffee and a splash of almond milk and she truly does enjoy it. she has a morning routine that she sticks to like it’s written in cement. she’ll never have kids and her mind won’t ever change on that. she’s free. not tied down to anyone or anywhere or anything. she’s free in all ways of the word. 

that was me. for many many years. i loved her and i knew her deeply. i honored her and i respected her and i had a beautiful beautiful deep relationship with her. 

and now?